Beau and I had our first outing today. Of course, we went to the official playground of moms, Target. A trip to Target can be a daunting task for any mom with the kids in tow, never mind a first time mom who has not yet left the house with her child alone.

I decided that I wasn’t going to fuss with the baby stroller and I put Beau’s car seat in the basket of a shopping cart. I’ve seen other mom’s do that, so it seemed like the right thing to do.

The first task of our mission was to achieve a venti hot vanilla chai from Starbucks. As we were standing in line, Beau fixated a piercing scowl on me. A face that I could imagine myself seeing ten years from now as I drag him through Target against his will for the millionth time. A few people peeked in his car seat and said, “oh how little!” And then I began to wonder, is he too little to be in public just yet? After a moment of self doubt, I realized that my sanity far outweighed my guilt and we were on our way.

Brandon and I have been to Target with Beau countless times, and not once has he cried. But what better way to initiate me into the mom’s of Target club than by having a mini meltdown. I mean he was red in the face inconsolably crying. At that point in time, I wish I could have bribed him with a cake pop or with a game on my phone. Damn, I can’t use those tricks yet. So I really impressed myself with what I did next. I looked up “white noise” on Apple Music on my phone. I then put the phone close to Beau’s ear and it slowly lulled him into a state of tranquility. #momhack! This is and will continue to be a life saver. Now I’m really wishing we just put an iPhone on the baby registry like we planned to.

Now that I’m a mom, I find myself checking out the other moms. I feel like a little kid, trying to copy and learn from the big kids. How do other mom’s carry their kids in the store or handle the melt downs? I noticed one mom with her three year old son in a carrier on her back. He was playing on her phone completely oblivious to the world and she was filling her shopping car, presumably numb to and also oblivious of the 30 pounds she was carrying around behind her. Another mom had one kid in her arm and one in the cart. Oh my god, yes. If I want more kids, I’ll have to bring them all into target. I can barely manage the diaper bag and Beau. How do all these moms make it look so easy? Am I making it look easy too or do I look like a beginner? This is when I decided I needed to leave the store before my 2 hour time frame was up and Beau needed to be fed again.

I would say our first solo Target trip was a success. I didn’t lock the baby in the car, I got to drink something hot for once and I didn’t spend any money because frankly, I couldn’t fit anything in the cart.

Small victories my friends.