Moments you can’t put into words

Beau is my first born, yet the state of his baby book reflects that of a second or third baby. I imagined myself being the mom that vigilantly recorded weights and heights after every doctor’s appointment. I envisioned Beau’s baby book to be at least 6 inches thick already with pictures, hospital bracelets and ink footprints. That’s not to say I haven’t saved locks of hair or thought about preserving the crusty piece of his umbilical cord.

It seems that time passes by and before I think to update the baby book, Beau has more teeth than I can confidently count and he’s already on to his second hair cut. I tell myself that I won’t forget how Beau is obsessed with strawberries right now and can say close to thirty words. One of those words would be his first swear and of course it was the product of my own F-bomb. This was when I had approached my first, “how do I not laugh even though I know this highly inappropriate” parenting moment. Is counting “fuck” as one of the 30 words amongst my child’s vocabulary highly inappropriate too? Either way, I’ve come to terms that I officially need to watch what I say and gangster rap may not be a viable music choice anymore.

Beau and I are growing simultaneously. He’s learning how to use a fork and to say please and thank you, while I’m learning to be patient with him as he repeatedly throws that fork on the floor and never says thank you when I pick it up. Beau has said please and thank you a couple of times, but they’re not at the top of his list.

His favorite word at the moment is “ball.” Although, he pronounces it “doll.” I’m not sure if his obsession with the “doll” evolved from watching his older cousin play basketball or if it’s just an innate appeal. Beau bounces the ball and pretends to shoot it, but he prefers to play fetch. I would consider that learned behavior, if only Max actually retrieved like he was supposed to.

The only thing that can match Beau’s fondness of his basketball, is his love for books. Often times, he can be found planted in the corner of the living room next to the coffee table with an open book in his lap. This is when I can really see his imagination thriving, as he animatedly brings the pages to life with his own words. Brandon and I used to read the same books to Beau while he was in the womb, and it’s kind of poetic that he has been enjoying these stories from the inside out.

Another one of Beau’s favorite things to do is to be chased by Max. He normally initiates this game by asking for a snack, only so he can then bait Max into going after him. Beau throughly enjoys playing this, until Max prevails. As soon as Max is successful in retrieving the snack, Beau immediately gets upset. They embody a sibling dynamic like no other. They fight , they play and they love. Beau shows his love for Max in the form of table scraps and Max returns the favor with his unyielding patience and tenderness. It truly makes my heart soar to experience two things that I love, loving one another.

Beau’s kind spirit is not limited to animals. He loves people and typically greets new faces with a “high five?!” He will give you high fives until your heart crumbles beneath the complete and utter cuteness of it all. Beau will befriend just about anyone who is sucker enough to pick up his sippy cup 27 times in a row. It shocks me how manipulative such an adorable little boy can be. How does a sweet face like that possess the capacity of such deceit? Beau has this devilish smirk that when united with his chocolate brown eyes, I’m rendered completely defenseless. There’s times I look at him and wonder how I’m ever supposed to discipline him, despite his defiant nature.

Beau is so much more than I could ever depict in a baby book. A list of his weights and heights will one day be fun facts, but they will never convey his gentle soul and kind spirit. The only means of capturing all of the beautiful moments unfolding during this season of our lives will be in my memories. Even as I sit here and try to illustrate the person he is at 14 months, there is not enough words. The best I can do is to hold on to every moment and keep them close to my heart. I hope these words can serve as a glimpse into this beautiful time of Beau’s life.

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